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Driftwood Metaphor

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1.
New Game 01:35
going back to that place, I'll try to remember to bring it all on my journey returning to lamp-lit corners eyes open like noon sometimes, in the building when all is night turned off the transmission to focus in and try it would be easier to do with someone checking up on you pretend, all the gears are new shifting's got me so confused meaning has not got much to lose
2.
System 01:37
what do I have to do to beat the fuckin' system? how can I seize escape from routes while travelin' em? I want not to understand a love where love's been fondled, fucked 'till there is no air and transiently discarded lies that I tell myself so I can lay in bed and catch a couple extra winks. who cares what was said? and drunken honesty, always directed in the wrong place your bets and walk away. collect your shares when I'm done. think too much about why I'm still doing this. thought I'd run aground; never expected this to get out of hand and so far I've fallen away from what I love come into my house, take all I have from me. counting on a wish, at best a travesty. know it'd have been smart to see the long run, but take the weight and carry on and on and on and on and on
3.
Ghost 01:02
don't wanna go back to empty shell of a home. your ghost was there, lookin' at me square. and "can't do this" is all that comes out. been bouncing back, high time for relapse. nothing's gold. we let it die, was a wonder why I dragged it on far past its due, till maggots ate the corpse for you. never change my mind. free will is by design; burned out or misaligned?
4.
Cut Strings 01:41
I lacked the draw you wanted, so it was easier to cut my strings. can't put my self at fault for stepping out, taking a break from dreams. and everybody says they've seen it all while only just starting to open eyes. laying low, after all, will tell the truth to me when it's time. late nights and dumb fights rewrites and frayed ties indoctrinated into institutions that don't make me feel I fought the quo and lost, but I was only tryna keep it real and everybody thinks they know it all while only just starting to open minds. know who won't take the fall, all that hot air will send you to the sky.
5.
To Forget 01:01
easy to forget just how much you meant you were hanging on my shoulders, or lying in my bed. swaying with the pulse, hold eachother close. proximal inhibitions, wish we were going home. and I hope that I'll see you around before I sink. known in another life, maybe'd've gotten it right. tryna hang onto the light.
6.
Daylight 02:08
it gets weird, it feels sad thinkin' 'bout the fun I wish I could have can't relate to what I lack. I get tired, I go home. so drunk but make my bed to fall asleep alone. toss around 'till the daylight shows. will good things come? waiting for what? guess it's not my turn this time, but I want mine. got to wake up and not feel so stuck. time to make my own luck. to hold tight to some hope is tough when out of options, getting cash for gold. a quick patch for a deeper hole.
7.
Moonlight 01:34
moonlight pale, silver, and sweet. treetops canopy always forgiving streelights, sidewalks 'neath our toes, sit tight light can sleep behind my window. did not want to question why conveniently did not reply. drop a hint, I'll take it twice. the game that's played just won't sit right as far as I'd've gone to try, I'd wager I won't change your mind tough as you and sad as I, there's no point left even to lie
8.
Point 01:20
what's the point in going out when I'm just thinking to myself "I really wanna listen well, but sounds too slurred together melt?" conversations I can't join. in first place, know I missed the point. reasons left to leave my room: drink a beer, or maybe two. then could I talk to you? when everyone I know has confidence, at least projects it. disparaging remarks aside, know I can still detect it. maybe I can fake it for a while, play the part until it's out of style hang it out the back to dry. better than waiting to feel alive.
9.
The Crowd 01:31
why can't I just decide what I want without harboring all the bad stuff? don't have to justify your hangups without feeling selfish and dumb. given the chance, you'd rather flake out than go for what might place you on good routes. trying my luck still, on my way down. nothing special, just a face in the crowd. know I'm lucky just to stand above ground.
10.
Lemonade 02:03
already know it's a bad idea. nip it in the bud before I turn the wheels. cause I'm just a dude who has seen too much. give me a sign when enough's enough, to know that I should give it up. wish for a minute you would hear me out, but it's hard to be brave in the face of doubt. I could cover my ears and close my eyes, but I don't wanna go home alone tonight. don't really know how to kick this feel, maybe ride it out and pine for something real. has it ever even crossed your mind at all? or am I setting up for another fall? every time I find the gall to play the game, it wants to break me down, find something more to take. handing me some lemons, I'll make lemonade. cover me in mud and I will wait for rain.
11.
Bones 01:47
better than I've ever had it, so where's the hangup on satisfaction? strung myself along for so long, I don't know how to not. tangled up my stomach sleeping. recall composure in the morning. all I need are thoughts to myself with a way to get 'em out. feeling like a dog been beaten down, but owns his bones. everybody all around me now can be my home. and I am just a bee without a stinger in me. thicken up my hide and tough it out.
12.
I wouldn't hope you can relate to feelings such as these. I cross my arms and roll my eyes until I fall asleep. I wouldn't want you to get bored, or tell your friends about the same old noise you always hear that keeps on coming out. Boredom takes it's toll. Patience lost in folds. Same old trend to buy into, don't ask why.
13.
Conclusion 02:12
came to no conclusions by the lake. got no firm delusions, but I feel like such a waste. everybody goes at their own pace. bodies are just bodies and I see them every day, but still just want a taste. ~o0o0o0o0o~

credits

released February 11, 2016

All songs written, played, and mixed by Seth Engel
Recorded 11/14-1/15 at The Owlery by Seth Engel and Matt Kissinger
Mastered by Dave Downham @ Gradwell House (www.gradwellhouse.com)
Art by Mary Clemens (www.rare-states.com)

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Grandpa Bay Recordings Chicago, Illinois

grandpa bay archive - december 2013 through may 2017 - chicago, il

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